"I Was A Feather Riding In The Wind": Adrian Christian On Religion, His Lowest Point, And
Photo: Eric Rosas/Gothiah
He is gonna go very far... He’s gonna go far," says Stacy King, Co-Host of Craig Cooley's Rainbow Radio on KX 93.5FM in Laguna Beach, California. "He knows exactly where he’s been and where he wants to go. I admire that."
When it was all said and done, hosts Craig Cooley and Stacy King at Rainbow Talk Radio got more from their encounter with Adrian Christian than they bargained for.
"I was pleasantly surprised. I wasn’t sure what to expect.." chimed in Stacy on-air.
"Oh yeah," Cooley agreed. "I talked to him [before], but I didn't expect this much of a wonderful conversation."
Perhaps it was preconceived notions of Christian artists. They had scheduled singer Adrian Christian for a sit-down interview at their radio station headquarters in Laguna Beach, California, but Adrian was shifted at the eleventh hour to sing at a memorial for a friend at his church in Hollywood. So they agreed to the interview by call-in.
"I really wanted to be at the studio with them. They are a hoot," Adrian says, with a twinkle in his eye. "But we agreed to get together in person soon and I look forward to it."
What was also surprising was Adrian's candor, explaining how his new EP, entitled "A Song For You," came to be.
"The way it all came together was quite unexpected," he said on-air. "I didn't plan on making an EP, I was preparing to make a pop album." He noted that the inspirational tone and content "took over."
He gave the interview from an office at Founders Metropolitan Community Church, moments before singing there that morning. Here are some of the highlights from that interview, which can also be heard in its entirety below:
Craig Cooley, Rainbow Radio: There are so many listeners out there in so many remote locations that are struggling with being themselves, and short selling themselves with their full person and their full potential, and a lot of that is caused because of their angst with their sexuality. And so, I always like to talk about my guests’ experiences - on how you arose to things, to get better. What was that moment for you when you realized things could get better? Was there a particular time in your life as a young man?
Adrian Christian: I was a feather riding in the wind throughout most of my twenties, adulthood, teenage years, just figuring it out and being willing to pay the price. Because I was never in the closet. And so, when I was a kid, I mean I was a fifteen year old singing in nightclubs, with a nightclub act, and I was out, and no one had done that in New York. No one. All the other male singers, you know, you just didn’t speak about it.. No one spoke about Freddie Mercury, Elton John, or George Michael. Nobody was doing that in nightclubs, and there I was, a fifteen year old boy, out, in gay clubs, singing.. and other nightclubs.
"It’s not worth killing myself because people may not like me or understand me, and I had to come to terms with, ‘Wait a minute, how do I feel about myself?’"
Listen to the entire radio interview right here.
The price I think I had to pay was that as I became an adult, and I got together with my first boyfriend at age nineteen… I had to give up my family because my family wasn’t really having me, and they just didn’t understand. So there’s a price to pay for that, and you gotta remember, there was no Will & Grace on television. This was before Queer As Folk, and there was a little show called Ellen, who I call ‘Joan Of Arc’ - who was like the one who had to take the hit, you know, for being on media as an out and gay person. But you didn’t see representation of us. So I, in the beginning, I thought something was really wrong with me. And then, I realized that I always loved God, and I always loved prayer and I always loved church, but I realized that the churches were also with issues. And so, I had to float in the wind for a while. And now, thank God, it’s easier.
The turning point really came when.. I really was down on myself and I was really feeling unworthy, to the point where I wasn’t taking care of myself, and I nearly had a near death experience in 2012. And it really came down to the fact that, I had to wake up one day and realize that this is not worth it. It’s not worth killing myself because people may not like me or understand me, and I had to come to terms with, ‘Wait a minute, how do I feel about myself?’
CC: Exactly, Adrian.
AC: And so, I had to really be okay with it. And thought, ‘Well, if I never have a boyfriend..' Because, it was tough in the gay community as a young man because there I was wanting to have a relationship, maybe at age twenty, and everyone else was married to women. You know, back then.
Photos: Rainbow Radio/Gothiah Records
Left: Craig Cooley in the studio. Right: Adrian calls in from Hollywood.
CC: Yeah. I had that same.
Adrian: It was the time. Once I came to myself and said, ‘You know what, I’m okay.. My mom and I have a great relationship, and she came back around, we really have a very close friendship. And it does come down to support - and then I have some friends and we have movie nights, and I thought, ‘You know what, if this is my life here in Los Angeles, I could live with that.’ If I wasn’t with anyone else, I could live with this life. I was fine with myself, and then - boom - I met the man of my life, who I’m spending the rest of my life with!
Stacy King: Yay! I’m happy.
CC: Your generation, and the generation before.. The beginning of the end was starting with your generation, with Ellen I think. But, what it was before that and particularly in the U.K… Not only was it against the law and you could be incarcerated - it was considered an illness that needed to be remedied, and the church considered it an abomination. So, you have a mental illness, you’re being condemned to hell, and you’re being thrown to jail. So how would you expect one to feel about themselves, you know?
"I’m really tired of churches and religions - people - deciding who is Christian and who’s not, who loves God and who doesn’t. And I’m tired of them deciding who’s going to hell and who’s going to heaven."
CC: And feel so helpless. So dang helpless, that you can’t do anything about it. You’ve tried everything. I remember thinking that I could go in and have a lobotomy where they neutralize your sexual part of your brain cause it would make me be more, quote, “normal.” I’m so glad those days are fading and I just hope that they continue to fade. But, wow, what a journey you’ve been on.
Adrian: You know, Craig and Stacey, I’ve just gotta say one thing. It’s like, I’m totally feeling you here. I’m really tired of churches and religions - people - deciding who is Christian and who’s not, who loves God and who doesn’t. And I’m tired of them deciding who’s going to hell and who’s going to heaven.
CC: Thank you. I’ll say amen to that.
SK: I’ll say amen to that!
Adrian: You have to dig deep down and just know and really speak with God. And I’m on this 20-City tour right now for this EP and I’m meeting so many people and I’m telling them that, ‘God created you just as you are in God’s beauty and you are perfect in God’s beauty.’ We are human and we’re imperfect human beings, mind you, but we are beautiful in God’s eyes.
CC: If there was a message, what would be your message right now, as Adrian, speaking directly to those people with some of the issues that you’ve experienced as a child or young adult?
Adrian: Don’t take the first no and don’t take the first rejection. My life had been filled with rejections my entire life, and until I got to understanding why I’m on this journey - in other words, we’re all gonna have a thing to get through. How we get through that thing is exactly why we’re here and it’s formed us and our characters and it shows us who we are. So when we show up as who we are, then the world responds and has to respect it, because the universe responds to truth more than anything else, and that becomes very, very clear. So, I am telling the audience and the world to stick to who you are and that inner voice that’s speaking inside of you is God.
Listen to the entire interview from KX93.5 Rainbow Radio RIGHT HERE:
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